Elizabeth A. Leib

By Elizabeth A. Leib

What do you want to be doing the day before you die? It’s a question that seems to lie below the surface of many conversations between members of the (American) boomer generation. I hear a universal consensus about their view of how the current retirees are spending their time – NOT ME! They say emphatically. “No” to whiling away hours on the golf course, “No” to a rote cycle of bridge punctuated by cruises, naps and early bird dinners. “No” to retirement homes, and so on.

The attitude is music to the ears of Tampa Bay’s professional civic boosters. The latest research report by Creative Tampa Bay titled “Things Look Different Here” by researcher Joe Cortright points out that over the next 10 years the Bay area will be a top relocation choice for transitioning baby boomers born between 1946 and 1964. I joined CTB, an economic development group of creative/business crossover types, a few years ago when all the talk was about how to support social clubs for the fickle twenty-somethings so that they would please, please stay. Where was CTB when I was twenty? Now 40 and a new mother, I was perfectly happy to stay at home and experience the weekday cocktail parties and late night events efficiently and vicariously from the comfort of home by including them in CTB’s online events calendar.

Last year after hearing of the new CTB research about the wave of forty-somethings expected over the next ten years, I feel like I’m in the catbird seat, my inertia rewarded; I’m ready to welcome cool new friends, never having to pack up myself! From the reports they will be health conscious, perhaps joining my Tai Chi class. Or we’ll meet over mulch, learning how to grow organic vegetables at Sweetwater Organic Farm. They may want to try their hand at citizen reporting. They can blog, and/or learn traditional methods by applying to participate in the volunteer news training program at our community radio station WMNF 88.5. Thanks to Matt Cowley, I can squeeze in volunteer time online from the convenience of my laptop by visiting the station’s location in Second Life. It’s a blast, flying around as MitzvahMom, telling people from countries all over the world about WMNF.

My partner of 12 years works an ever rotating combination of 4 to 5 jobs and writes letters as a member of Amnesty International on behalf of prisoners of conscience. As if we aren’t already busy enough paying the bills and volunteering when possible, Mark announced he’d expanded our family. He’d signed us up in the 1-3am period of our 24/7 life-cycle when he typically reads, works on a new play, grades term papers or writes his theatre column. We’d talked in the past about sponsoring a child. It seemed the most practical way to expand our family circle with respect to our limited financial resources. For two people who delayed parenting and for whom reading and writing are fundamental nutrients, as important as citrus to avoiding scurvy or calcium to bone strength, we’re sticking with a triad and sponsoring an orphan for $28 dollars a month.

Betiana is a three-year-old living in Argentina in an SOS Children’s Village. Founded in 1949 in Austria, SOS was the response by a young medical student moved to do something about the children left orphaned and homeless by WWII. Hermann Gminer’s basic idea was to match children without mothers with women without children. His family-based model provided each child with a mother, brothers and sisters, a home and a village. A month after submitting the paperwork, we were matched with three-year-old Betiana living in the Cordoba SOS Villiage in Argentina. Nicknamed “Coco”, she’s recently arrived and is reported to be adjusting well to her new surroundings. Like Jeremy, she has a birthday in mid-October – just a few weeks from now. We’re encouraged to send her a birthday card and a small donation to be saved in an account that will be given to her at 18 to help her attend college or whatever she’d like to do. Each year we’ll receive a new picture of her to see and enjoy her development.

Unlike many empty-nest boomers who will be moving to the area, 5 years from now we’ll still be knee deep in the parenting life with Jeremy and as many children as we can sponsor. When I stop to notice, I’m aware of how good and full my life is. It looks like one of those love-worn patchwork quilts, pieced together with the fastidious skill of a hard-working seamstress. More and more I appreciate the seams - they remind me of the difficult personal and professional transitions so painful and embarrassing but now perfect in the way they hold the pieces of a story together.

Living with a five-year-old is a juggling act, requiring a kind of psychological flexibility and physical endurance I never imagined myself capable of. Unlike the early baby/toddler years when all I had to do was make sure he was safe, warm and fed with help from friendly, knowledgeable childcare professionals, his needs have become more complex – and more interesting. His entry into school and the demands of homework (in kindergarten!), soccer games and swim lessons has made self-employment a priority. Building a client base for Raintree Writing Service and selling advertising part-time for Southern Living helps keep the bills paid.

From what I’ve read about these migrating boomers, we’ll share similar interests. The research says they’ll reinvent the later years of their lives, continuing to grow and to learn and to contribute; they’ll remain curious and engaged; they’ll probably even be alive when they die.