Two questions fired through Mitzvahboy’s brain as Kristie, our Discovery Cove dolphin trainer welcomed us into the water to introduce us to a ten year old dolphin named CJ. We stood in thigh high water along with another family of five adults contentedly petting the friendly 600 pound creature as he swam from one end of our line to the other. Kristie narrated with details about the dolphins at Discovery Cove, how they are trained, how they flirt, the meaning of their whistles and clicks, about the scratches on the upper surface of CJ’s skin and so on before Mitzvahboy shouted out, “is it a boy or a girl?”

The teenagers chuckled and I flinched, hoping Christie wouldn’t mind the interruption. She engaged the question after gracefully finishing her sentence and then gave CJ a hand signal. The dolphin responded by rolling over, floating in front of us as Christie pointed out the long thin line on the lower part of CJ’s white belly. She explains that boy dolphins have one line on lower belly beneath the tail while girls have three. Clearly not the dramatic visual Mitzvahboy was hoping for. As we all gazed quietly and appreciatively at the dolphin floating upside down for our benefit, Mitzvahboy shouts out, “is the dolphin going to the bathroom?? There is a hole mid-way on the dolphin’s tummy that looks sorta’ like a belly button. We could see a thin brown liquid seaping out from the hole. Pulled from my reverie, I uncomfortably wondered how Christie would handle this question.

There was a long pause, as Christie hesitated before admitting that yes, it was true, it was dolphin poop. She quickly moved on although Mitzvahboy tried to press the moment by shouting that we should all leave the water. It was a silly boy-kid moment. But it is the story he tells everyone. Christie switched gears by handing Mitzvahboy a fish treat to give to CJ. We then learned how to give CJ hand signals instructing him to wave his flippers at us and to do a flip. The most exciting moment for me came when we each had the chance to be pulled a few yards by CJ, placing one hand on his dorsal fin and one hand on a flipper. It was a wonderful experience, playing with a large animal that was as expressive and responsive to our caresses as our beloved Fluffy. I hope we can do it again.

Wow! The summer months have slipped away without any blogging on my part. And I definately miss it. New work projects with tight deadlines are coming into focus and Mitzvahboy soon will become a second grader. This afternoon we’ve just returned from Orlando where we visited Sea World and Discovery Cove. More on our exciting swim with CJ and Capricorn in the next post. We amused ourselves on the drive back by thinking of all the places we would prefer not to visit. In no particular order they are: Belgium, Turkey, Jordan, Haiti, Mexico, Congo, Sudan, Russia, Iran, Austria, the North Pole, underwater caves, Uganda, Uranus, Rwanda, Poland, Lebanon, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Alabama, Kansas, Nebraska, Dominican Republic, North Korea. We also have no plans to bungee jump or to hike the entire Appalachian Trail.

I’ve been pondering this question for myself more than 20 years. So has George Vaillant, research director of the Grant study. I ran across this video this week in an article published in the Atlantic titled “What Makes Us Happy?” Interesting to hear/see Vaillant after reading his books like “Wisdom of the Ego” based on the study.

The news isn’t all bad these days for some Tampa cultural arts organizations. Thanks to funds left over from the now defunct Renaissance Center for the Arts (RCFTA), those laboring to bring cultural arts to Tampa residents have additional money to further their efforts.

Phoenix grants were awarded organizations that fit with the original mission of RCFTA: to enhance cultural awareness for youth and adults in Tampa Bay. Of the twenty-three organizations that applied, fourteen received grants at a reception held April 1 at the interim site of the Tampa Museum of Art.

Melinda Chavez, Executive Director of the Tampa Bay Business Committee for the Arts, is very happy about receiving a Phoenix grant. Chavez says the grant will be used to fund three scholarships within an existing program that makes annual awards to outstanding high-school students in the performing, visual and literary arts categories.

A Phoenix grant will help seventh and eighth grade Academy Prep Center students illustrate environmental and sustainable living lessons from the Earth Charter with the help of University of Tampa faculty on Earth Day, 2010. Jan Roberts, founder and President of Earth Charter U.S., says that students will demonstrate Earth Charter ideas through storytelling, mural painting, sculptures, photography, dance and the spoken word on both campuses.

Fran Powers, founder of Powerstories Theatre and grant recipient says the money will be used to fund the newest program, Girlstories Theatre Project (GTP). GTP is a ten month program for 25 middle-school girls that kicks off with a six-week summer intensive in June. Girls meet from 9 am to 5 pm five days a week, to study theatre, music, dance, improvisation, art, technical theatre and how to tell a personal story. Young girls are selected mostly on their desire to become a leader in the community rather than performance ability. “In these challenging economic times, it is a thrill for the Board to donate funds to expand children’s arts programming, supporting our core mission.” said RCFTA director, grants committee chair and City Councilwoman Linda Saul-Sena.

Other grant winners include Plant City Children’s Theatre, Bits n’ Pieces Puppet Theatre, Glazer Children’s Museum, Stageworks, Tampa Museum of Art , Friends of the Carrollwood Cultural Center, Plant High School Academic Foundation, Southshore Arts Council, Center Place Fine Arts and Civic Association and Walton Academy for the Performing Arts.

The Renaissance Center for the Arts began in 1999 with renovation on what once was the First Congregational Church in Tampa Heights. Although many successful events and programs took place at the Center, funding challenges ultimately kept the RCFTA from fulfilling its mission. The Board of Directors of the RCFTA is pleased that it could grant the remaining assets of the organization to deserving arts related organizations throughout greater Tampa and further support cultural arts in the community.

RCFTA president, Mark Segel added, “Although it’s very disappointing to the entire board that the Renaissance Center could not continue as we envisioned it, we’re very pleased that through these grants we can leave a lasting legacy throughout the arts community of greater Tampa.”

As the dismal economic storm continues, we’re finding reasons to be happy at the start of this spring. Last weekend we had a family wedding to attend in Chicago. During the long weekend Mark and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary at the Back Room jazz club, saw the new Munch exhibit at the Art Institute and attended the new Monsters vs Aliens 3-D movie at Navy Pier. It was a fun, happy weekend for all - including Fluffy who stayed behind in Tampa.

Fluffy, Phoebe, Lindsey Leib smiling, a 5-star weekend with the Fine family

Mitzvahboy views downtown Chicago from the Adler Planetarium

Our first lettuce harvest this week came with a near-death experience for one of my favorite critters. During the usual rinsing and spinning I didn’t notice any bugs or assorted creatures that might be playing around in a home garden. So after chilling the bowl of lettuce for a few hours, I prepared a dinner salad for Mark before settling in for the evening reading time with Mitzvahboy. When Mark returned later in the evening and sat down to enjoy his first home grown organic salad he noticed the lettuce moving. Expecting a caterpillar, he moved a leaf to discover a baby green tree frog.

As the jobs loss number came crashing in this week, Creative Loafing and staff learned that the company would remain under Eason’s control during the reorganization.

Although the economy may not be in freefall as it has been for the last 4 months, I’m not placing any bets yet on where we are in the cycle. As I listen and read, many commentators seem to be hopeful that the positive gains in the stock market this week indicate we’ve reached bottom; I don’t think so. Until the banking situation gets corrected my guess is there is more pain to come and more shoes to drop.

Mark, Buckminster Fuller exhibit at the Contemporary Art Museum

As I write this Mark is in New York for the day attending a reading of his holocaust play “A River in the Desert.” It’s an opportunity to show the play to producers and the chance to hear it performed by Broadway actor Fyvush Finkel. It’s a happy day; we’re celebrating and counting our blessings.

PBS first aired a report about California high school students whose families are in crisis last week and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them. The video they produced is a compliation of their individual stories. They talk very personally about the struggles they and their families are going through. Some are facing eviction and/or don’t have enough to eat. All are having trouble figuring out how they can manage or justify a college education; torn by the desire pursue their dreams.

What they are going through is sad, yet their stories are becoming more and more familiar. The video titled, “Is Anybody Listening?” should be required viewing at the beginning of each congressional session where the economy/Wall Street is the subject.

When Obama conducted a town hall last week in California, he paid a visit to the school to talk with the students and dispel their fears about not being heard. The PBS report concludes with Village Academy students talking about how they are working together on solutions by sharing information on local food banks and reaching out to other students who are struggling.

I admire their resourcefulness, courage and sense of community. Those students who don’t give into despair will gain invaluable life skills. If only they didn’t have to acquire these skills at such a tender age.

I found a cheaper hand lotion this week thanks to my new online friends at momslikeme.com. If I join a buying club I can save 50 cents per half gallon on organic milk, $4 on the 48 popsicle pack and $5 on a 100 piece dinosaur shaped chicken nugget package. So maybe it takes us 6 months to regain the $44 membership fee. But where will we put all these popsicles and dinosaur nuggets? In the new freezer! Ok, my neighbor tells me I can get the best deal on a freezer at Buddy Bi-Rites for about $100. So now I’ve got to wonder how long will it take to recoup the $144 investment? Hmmmmm, does anyone know how long this storm will last?

From everything I’m reading, we’re in the midst of the mother of storms that will alter forever our way of life. In this morning’s NYT’s Thomas Friedman quotes Paul Gilding, the Austrailian enviromental business expert who says, “When we look back, 2008 will be a momentous year in human history. Our children and grandchildren will ask us, ‘What was it like? What were you doing when it started to fall apart?’”

MitzvhBoy might remember of this time that his family planted a hydroponic garden, that he spent time with his mommy and daddy playing board games and kayaking; and that he learned that the toys his neighbor friend receives with no effort comes to him from his own earnings. He’ll have memories of earning money by helping his mom at Tampa Bay Parenting events. From this time in his young life, I would like him to learn about courage and fearlessness and resourcefulness. Setting that example for him is what keeps me clear-eyed and calm in this nightmarish storm.

Since fall of 2008 I’ve been working as a Parent Liaison for Hillsborough County Schools. I was reminded recently in a meeting involving parents and school staff how important it use our emotional intelligence to create positive interpersonal relationships. Plenty of research about the way children learn supports the idea that social emotional skills facilitate learning. Teachers who attend to the emotional context of their students are more likely to be effective with a wide variety of kids – not just the “good” ones.

Being effective in working with people in any professional role has as much to do with subject matter proficiency as it does in something author Daniel Goleman calls “emotional intelligence”. In his book of the same name, he expands the traditional definition of intelligence based on narrowly defined IQ tests to include a new category marked by traits such as self-awareness, impulse control, persistence, self-motivation, empathy and social deftness.

Although much has happened in the fields of neurology and brain research since the book was published, its core insights remain relevant for anyone working with people. For anyone who cares about honing social emotional skills, I think you’ll find this book a valuable resource.

Our Valentine date this year was to go see The Wrestler. Although we both wanted to see it, at times during the bleak, demanding film I wondered if we’d made a good choice. I really doubted the decision during the bloody close-ups of Rourke’s back in the scene where the medical assistant removes the staples from the evenings performance. Next Valentine’s day I bet we choose something pleasantly vapid like He’s Just Not That Into You.

But now we’re in the position to really appreciate it if Rourke wins for best actor tomorrow night. In his interview last week with Charlie Rose he talks about how his issues with authority and the resulting irresponsible, reckless behavior left him shut out of opportunities to act for the last 14 years. Rourke says his performance in the Wrestler is possible because of his willingness to revisit personal and professional failures. But unlike his character Randy the Ram, Rourke believes his work over the last 10 years with a therapist will provide him with tools and information to handle himself differently in the future.

scene from the Wrestler - Randy the Ram talks with his daughter

In the eighties I admired his work in Diner, Body Heat, 9 1/2 Weeks, Barfly, and particularly in Rumble Fish. I identified with the way he lived with an intransigent middle finger always stuck up in someone’s face. As he faded from cinema in the nineties I lost track and interest in what he was up to. I was busy enough finding ways to recalibrate my own defiant ways.

Mickey Rourke as Motorcycle Boy in Rumble Fish

He’s an exceptionally gifted actor and gives a great performance in the Wrestler. Like his character, Randy the Ram, Rourke’s professional future may hold the most promise. And if he manages to achieve his professional goals, he might be able to do something his character Motorcycle Boy wasn’t able to do - lead us somewhere meaningful.

Rourke on Letterman, Dec. 2008 - rough around the edges

On the very day of my birthday this week my hydroponic garden produced the first lettuce, nasturtiums and corn sprouts. No sign of the tomato plants yet but they’ll show up soon. I planted beets, corn and onions in the ground pot. Although it is easy enough to bring in the pots on cold nights, I just covered mine with heavy towels for tonight.

If you are interested in hydroponics, take a look at the video below. John, the owner of HydroHarvest Farms, explains how easy it is to set up your own home system. My experience with HydroHarvest Farms has been excellent. John has been very helpful and always available to answer my questions. Thank-you Candace Street! (my fairy godmother it seems) for pointing me in the direction of HydroHarvest Farms.

John Lawson/HydroHarvest Farm

Slant, gook, spook, wop - just a few of the racial epithets used by Clint Eastwood’s character in his new movie Grand Torino. As Mark and I watched the movie last night at the Starlight Muvico, I was a unsettled by the audience laughter each time he spit out the nasty slurs; why did they laugh?

Possibly because Eastwood’s character is cartoonish and two-dimensional. As a veteran of the Korean War he is ridiculously out of date with the world around him. I admit I enjoyed watching his face contort into frustrated spasms; once most memorably when a receptionist in head-scarf escorts him into his doctor’s office where he discovers his doctor has retired and is replaced by a young Asian woman.

Although I didn’t find humor in the slurs I could relate to the the character’s frustration. The world is changing so fast and in so many ways; its hard to imagine keeping up even as a relatively young person. Journalist Michael Tomasky writes that American’s white population is expected to drop from 68 percent to 61 percent between now and 2020 and then fall to 50 percent by 2050. My son’s first grade teacher is Muslim and his doctor is Indian. This is probably to his benefit.

Video sent out by Chip Saltsman, a Tennessee candidate for the Republican party chairman, “Barack the Magic Negro”:

In conversation with an African-American friend she asked me why people hate the Jews. She said, “I understand why they hate us, we look different, but why the Jews?” I could only shrug and reply that much wiser and smarter people than I had explored the question without any definitive answers. It was the first time we’d talked so intimately about race. It felt like a leap of trust made possible by the growing strength of our friendship and our shared involvement in the election of Obama.

Finally, no one was laughing in the last scene of Grand Torino when Eastwood’s character, who during the course of the movie accidentally befriends an Asian family living next door, finds a way to bring justice after they’ve been violently victimized. Written and directed by Eastwood, the movie is a perfect coda to his work in the violent racially stereotyped Dirty Harry movies of the 1970’s. Now that we’re about to see our first African American take office maybe we’ll have many more such conversations.

Scene from Dirty Harry: Do You Feel Lucky?

The video below on constructing a hydroponic garden is made to help others interested in hydroponics. I won’t say it was easy - the effort taxed my limited practical abilities. My success probably has alot to do with my taking time to write out in detail the assembly instructions given verbally to me by the owners of HydroHarvest Farm. Those detailed instructions are now available for anyone who purchases hydroponic garden materials from the farm.

The end of the year arrives and we’re counting our blessings. Mitzvahboy transitioned nicely from Hillel School to first grade at our neighborhood school, Lewis Elementary. I continued serving Raintree Writing Service clients, writing the occasional book review for the St. Petersburg Times while also working as Parent Liaison for Hillsborough County Schools and Mark completed a new play, “River in the Desert.”

For me, 2008 was the year to accept the realities of middle-age: reading glasses, slowing metabolism and hormone changes. My personal coach tells me that is the age where one must take care to fuel every muscle, bone and blood cell with with food on all levels - intellectual, physical, spiritual; self-care becomes even more critical to meet the demands of parenting and family life.

Like many families, we’re anticipating a very challenging 2009. The financial crisis, the deterioration of print media, and cut backs to education have created a perfect storm that affects about every family we know, including ours. So my resolutions for 2009 are very basic: find ways to bring healthy, low-cost foods into the house; introduce family activities that nurture the soul and body without depleting the bank account.

Gardening

I’ve got 4 hours of good sun on the north-east corner of our property. Unfortunately that means that the hydroponic gardening towers I’m investing in with my father’s holiday check will have to reside in the front of the house. Possibly in a few months I can move them to the patio in the back. I checked with our next-door neighbors and they had no objections. I’m planning to grow enough produce and herbs so that we can stop buying the tasteless stuff found at local groceries and have enough excess to share with friends and family.

Cooking

I’m the proud owner of two new stainless steel frying pans and my first cuisinart food processor. My sister Lauren is my go-to person for ideas and inspiration for making healthy home-cooked food. For those looking to cut food costs take a look at Super-Target. I found a half-gallon of milk was TWO dollars cheaper than what we’ve been paying at Publix. I found many items at lower cost and many of the Target brands a higher quality than what we’ve been buying.

Family Time: Bicycling

I’m not sure we’ll manage this. But who knows - 2009 may be the magic year! We are fortunate to live in a neighborhood where it is possible to bicycle as a family. We’re also near enough to the Hillsborough River to ride in neighborhoods on the river. And we have a new pet that loves nothing better than to be with us. Fluffy’s holiday gift will be a basket so that she can ride along with us.

The Great Outdoors

Sure, Mitzvahboy is outdoors in scheduled activities: he’s on the Junior Swim Team at the Temple Terrace Rec. Center and will have tennis and baseball lessons and soccer in the spring. But I want him to have outdoor experiences that are less directed. So we’ll spend a weekend on the Suwannee River filled with music at the Paralounge Drum Festival and attend a few of the great free activities at the Weedon Island Nature Preserve.

Self-Care: Reading, Nutrition, Exercise, Blogging

Obama administration, Islam, healthy living, gift-giving, the ideas of Garrett Hardin - all really, really interesting. This year I’ll use i-Google to expand my information sources; I will make it to tai-chi on Saturday mornings; I will visit Mind, Body, Spirit for a nutrition consultation. I will enjoy Mark’s gift of a subscription to the New Yorker after not having it for several years. Sure I’m filled with self-doubt about the value of my blogging, but its been a great creative outlet; who knows what professional opportunities may be coming as online media matures.

Good luck in reaching for your own new year resolutions! Be safe, be fearless, be informed….Happy New Year!

Fluffy Phoebe Lindsey Leib, a gift from dear friend Susan

This work is dedicated to the Public Domain.

You just know times are changing when the front page of your favorite newspaper covers the story of the President-Elect’s weekly YouTube address and you skip the article because you saw the video. Climate change, the global financial crisis, two US wars, and everywhere jobs are evaporating. We’re doing what we can to adjust. Almost everyone I know is either looking for work or insecure about their job. Creative Loafing is in Chapter 11 and Hillsborough County Schools have declared a deep hiring freeze.

I pulled my retirement funds out of the stock market. We canceled our Sunday New York Times. I traded in my car in favor of one that is more fuel efficient and we’ve ended the habit of casual eating out. I’m eyeing the backyard with its sandy soil and thinking maybe better to try hydroponic gardening.

As a parent there are benefits to being Jewish this time of year. MitzvahBoy is accustomed to receiving gifts under $5 on each of the eight days of Hanukkah so his holiday won’t be much affected by our budget cutting. He noted recently that those who observe the Santa myth get more presents. Oh well, I said, we’re Jewish.

For years I’ve struggled with this season of compulsory gift giving. There are gifts that can never be repaid and gifts intended to establish bonds that I’d prefer to refuse. I’ve been interested in authenticity at the expense of ritual. But that may be changing thanks to my new best friend the book “The Gift” by Lewis Hyde. Hyde writes in the introduction, “A gift is a thing we do not get by our own efforts. We cannot buy it; we cannot acquire it through an act of will. It is bestowed upon us.” For me this idea is helpful; true gifts aren’t acquisitions and they aren’t motivated by any thought of getting something back.

In the first chapter of “The Gift” Hyde writes “Another way to describe the motion of the gift is to say that a gift must always be used up, consumed, eaten…This, then is how I use “consume” to speak of a gift-a gift is consumed when it moves from one hand to another with no assurance of anything in return. There is little difference, therefore, between its consumption and its movement. A market exchange has an equilibrium or stasis; you pay to balance the scale. But when you give a gift there is momentum, and the weight shifts from body to body.”

So in that spirit I offered my mother-in-law a potato as a birthday present. A bit unorthodox, but appropriate - she’s always encouraging us to eat vegetables so I gave her an organic sweet potato from the Sweetwater Farm. She reciprocated by bringing a delicious sweet potato casserole to thanksgiving dinner. Encouraged by this small success I spent the long Thanksgiving weekend making a stew. Two days of boiling and soaking and chopping yielded two pots full. I gave away quart baggies labeled “Elizabeth’s Kosher Turkey Stew.”

Ready for another opportunity involving food-gifts, I agreed to help MitzvahBoy’s reading teacher with a Hanukkah presentation for his class. Nevermind that the one and only time I made latkes they were horrid, heavy greasy starchy blobs. I’m moving ahead with confidence thanks to the latke making advice of the expert Jodi Ray.

I’m looking forward to a season of experimenting with consumable gifts: food, books, ideas, time. Friends can look forward to gifts from the Leib family of fresh roasted coffee from Café Kili, homemade cookies, time together lighting Hanukkah candles, and blog posts exploring the complexities of gift giving. With any luck I’ll navigate more comfortably and with increasing skill the rituals of this holiday season.

Columbia journalism professor Sree Sreenivasanm is hosting webcast reports by Journalists and experts in Mumbai and in the U.S. on the attack. A Jewish community center in Mamba, Nariman House, home to the Orthodox Jewish group Chabad Lubavitch, was also attacked. The identity of the attackers is unconfirmed; early reports identify one as Pakastani and possibly others may hold British passports.

It’s fascinating to watch the way technology makes it possible for journalists to collaborate from different cities and outside of news organizations to organize an internet news bureau to report on a subject in real time. The next webcast is scheduled this morning at 10AM and then again tonight at 10PM.

Interesting blogs on the attack: The Daily Beast Mambai MetBlogs Mambai Help iReport Arun Shanbhag

In this cold commodity culture

Where you lay your money down

It’s hard to even notice

That all this earth is hallowed ground…

The gift keeps on moving

Never know where it’s going to land

You must stand back and let it

Keep on changing hands.

lyrics from Bruce Cockburn’s song, The Gift